Jaipur and the Holi Festival

Every time I go to write of my experiences, I find myself not being able to put it into words. Here's my best..

Arriving in Jaipur was an adventure all its own. The train ride was 14 hours. Claudia and I were in regular sleeper class (and foolishly thinning we'd actually get our bed to itself). When first boarding the train, we were the only ones in our cabin. I knew of course there would be more prior once we got to bigger cities. I want aware of just how many people! By midday, we only had one bed and there were Indian women sitting with us putting their kids I'm our lap. At one point there were 7 other people in our bed besides us (and our you bed had several people to and a lot of luggage). India is making me question if I am claustrophobic.
After a few hours of not being able to move we had to kick everyone out of our bed, asking them to take the top one.

Our first day in Jaipur, we traveled a bit around the city by tuktuk, seeing the money palace and water palace. We did a little shopping and find a new guest house (which come to find, looks are deceiving. It was not worth it...) Unfortunately, this was the day when I got grabbed. I had been mentally prepared to be on my guard for holi, but the day before I didn't expect anything to happen. I was really taken off guard because it was an employee of western union. Long story short, I pushed him away and slapped him across the face. It was just groping, nothing more. Being put in this situation though made me realize just how vulnerable I am as a woman here. Claudia was just a few steps below me and he still had the nerve to try that. It's been heavy on my heart, and more so because my friends were also groped during holi. It saddens me that such a beautiful place filled with so much spirituality can also be filled with so much disrespect...

Other than the expected groping of holi, it was an amazing experience. I still have color on me!

Claudia, Lisa, Nicola, Ashlyn, and I danced and celebrated at Nicola's hotel for a while, then ventured to the streets for a second time. Our first venture out we were ambushed by groups of children with colourful powder. They always would put it on your face, mostly the cheeks. We then came across a group of women dancing and they invited us to dance with them for a while. The kids continued to color us and some of the women did as well. Our second venture to the streets was even more amazing. We met this (very handsome. Dreadlocks and a beard, what more could I ask for??) guy named Daniel from Spain. He was in the back of some guys motor bike. We all ended up taking the bike (two at a time) to the pink city. Claudia and I were the last to go. Now, I don't know if I have mentioned the insanity of riding around in India. It's complete madness. Anyways, it was a bit too rowdy there so we walked up to the Nagar Palace. On our adventure through the small streets we can across a family who invited us inside. We danced in their courtyard with all the children and several women. It was amazing the genuine feeling of this moment. This had been the most amazing experience of India this far. Once the music stopped and the color was running lie, they served us the sweetest lassi I've had. After many pictures, we continued on our journey to the palace. The police followed us up most of the way, beating off people who harassed us. I think our presence May have caused a bit of a scene...
The day ended with good food, a new friend, and lasting memories.

Now, I sit on my first bus heading to Ajmer, then Pushkar. I look forward to the calm, the opportunity to relax a bit and reflect, a moment to really see how much India has already changed me. I see myself so much stronger already. I am no longer being passive or unsure of myself. India is just what I needed. I can see so clearly how just being in India is going to turn me into a better yoga teacher, business woman, and person in general.

Watch out world. I'm coming.

Quote to Live by

"You are me, and I am you. You cultivate the flower in yourself, so that I will be beautiful."

This quote is in my Thich Naat Han notebook I've been using as my journal. It touches a soft part in my heart and brings light to my soul. It is such a great truth.

I love this quote specifically because I tend to always want to help others. I put their needs before mine and often I lose a piece of myself in the process. But I've also realized for quite some time now that we are all reflections of ourselves. So, once again I'm being shown that in order to help someone else you must help yourself. Maybe this is why I feel I've been unsuccessful in truly helping.

Finally, I'm going to accept and practice this truth. I'm going to focus on myself, my spiritual journey, and enhancing my inner light so that I truly can help others on their individual paths. "I'd you want to change the world, first you must change yourself."

Arhanta Yoga Ashram

Arriving at Arhanta, I was so nervous. Accomplishing a dream is actually a really scary experience. It feels surreal to be in a place you've thought so much about, to be on your true life path. It felt like the right place to be as soon as I got there. The energy was perfect, calm and contemplative. Meeting everyone felt a bit like connecting with people I've already known. We all clicked so well.

The days were long and certainly tested my mental, emotional, and physical capabilities. We began with mediation and chanting at 6 am. At 7:15 am we had silent breakfast immediately followed by how to teach, which went straight until lunch. After silent lunch(around 12 pm) we each had a different karma yoga job to compete. Kim and I helped the gardener by loosening the dirt in each of the gardens and doing a small bit of weeding. Karma yoga never took long, which was a blessing because it gave us a little extra time between lunch and the philosophy (@ 1 pm) to do or laundry by hand or study. After philosophy was a two hour asana class. Following asana was dinner. Then there was self meditation, competing the day around 8pm.

Philosophy was an amazing class, though I was always exhausted. We learned about the Vedic philosophy which was on par with almost everything I already believe. It's nature based and most of the philosophy makes sense. I am still questioning the process of liberation to bring your soul to moksha. I think I'm too fond of Earth to want to leave. I'd rather spend many life times here and just become more aware and in tune with nature. I also am still struggling a bit with the karma philosophy. It's difficult to see other people suffering and believe that it is their karmic accounting, that it is what they deserve. I understand that it's over many lifetimes that we create our accounting, so one may suffer because of their choices in a time we don't remember. It seems to me though that this is a good mechanism to simply accept other people's suffering and not doing anything about it. It seems almost suppressing. Anyways, I loved the information, especially the pattern of life being "generation, organization, destruction"; Spelling out God, connecting all religions to nature. As I've always said, each religion is saying the same thing just with different words and stories.

Asana class was wonderful. We were definitely pushed and I came to see how capable I am. Our teachers knew how far we could go and what we could do, even if we were unsure about it. They always said, "don't think, just do it" and when it comes to asanas this is the best advice. Before coming to Arhanta I couldn't do a headstand or many other asanas. Now, because they taught me to let go of my thoughts and just do it, I can hold headstand for several minutes no problem. The other wise words they said were too trust the body, it will do what it needs to.

There is so much I could say about the course but to make a long story short, Arhanta was the perfect place for me to start my journey with yoga. I've gained so much from this program; not only knowledge and a certification but a new extended family.

Love to Mother for making this opportunity happen, for bringing a dream to fruition.

Relaxing in Agra

After a couple days in Delhi, Agra seems quite relaxing. There is a totally different energy here which works better for me. Maybe it's because we're staying at a hostel instead of a hotel. Maybe it's because there are clearly more tourists. Maybe it's because I'm no longer traveling alone. Either way, I'm happy to be here a couple days before the ashram.

Our arrival in Agra was the most worrisome time yet, though. We bought a taxi but the car wouldn't start. So, they gave us a new car. It sounded weak upon start up but we had already paid (yeah, backwards. It was a taxi station sort of thing). After we get our stuff in the truck and settle in the back, our driver jumps in and so does another man. Two men in the car when typically there is only one seemed a little off. Both Bianca and I became on edge. After only driving a short ways down the road the car dies. There is a traffic jam ahead of us but cars were getting through. We waiting nearly 40 minutes for someone else to pick us up. In the mean time, or driver tells us because of this jam they can't take us all the way to our hostel, only to the east gate of the Taj Mahal where we'll have to get a tuktuk. Clearly, this was not going to work for us. We got in the new car and he tried to find us a tuktuk (we told him he must pay). He brought us through many dark ally ways, adding several drivers before he settled with one. It was a more open space filed with, if course, all men. As he spoke to these several men in Hindi, they kept looking back at us and laughing. This is certainly a time to feel worried. You are being transferred to a different driver whom they cannot track like a taxi service in the middle of the night and there are only two women and roughly seven men. We got the tuktuk, again, two male drivers.  More dark ally ways and feeling completely lost. We finally got to our destination, Friends Paying Guesthouse, with relief. Later that evening, Bianca and I joked about the situation; Our new motto becoming, "just take a Rickshaw" :)
We have seen much already in Agra. More temples and gardens, monkeys, begging children, and roaming cows. Today we will visit the Taj Mahal and this evening we take the train to Khajuraho to begin our yoga training. It's a very exciting day.
All the sight seeing has been well, but I am certainly ready to go inside and explore myself.

Delhi Days

My Indian Adventure Begins

It's difficult to put these kinds of experiences in to words, and yet I've hardly begun. My heart feels joyful and terrified at the same time. People who care for me have struck me with fear and I'm trying to find the balance between being open to the world while being extremely cautious. What a wonderful first lesson to learn. As I explore Delhi today I'm sure I will find that equilibrium I seek.

My travels have gone well. I was blessed to see the most gorgeous sunset yet on my plane to Delhi. I do not know our location as it set, but there were tall mountains peaking through the clouds and the sun was a bright red/orange. It was so magical in those moments, knowing what was to come ahead and losing myself in the sunset, I began to gently weep years of immense joy. I'm actually accomplishing a dream I have dreamt for quite some time. It's an unexplainable feeling I'm sure I'll be writing many poems about.

I attached some pictures below of my first hotel. I look forward to learning how to bath and shower with only a bucket. I look forward to all the differences I'm going to encounter being here in comparison to America. I must also say, I'm thankful I purchased that navy blue silk bed/sleeping bag liner you see in one if the pictures. This is a pretty clean place, and I'm sure I'd going to be better than many of the places I stay, so it's nice to know I have this with me wherever I go.

I am very excited to have gotten my pack bag, yoga mat and all (it was strapped to the outside), and to have been able to bring my hoop.

I'm so looking forward to this adventure. Here's to being safe, smart, and open.

"I have arrived"